Divorce was once a shameful taboo; an earth-shattering failure, culminating in the disappointing end of what was supposed to be happily ever after.
Historically, divorce has been a tragedy for women. Divorce was avoided because women felt the need to remain married in order to survive. A “woman’s place” was traditionally considered to be fulfilling the role of domestic labor. If a woman did not want to rely on her male spouse as her only access to a source of income, she would need to find a job, while facing employment discrimination and the scorn of society, which deemed it unacceptable for a woman to have career ambitions.
It was only in 1920 that women finally gained the right to vote in the United States; in the 1960s women gained the right to open a bank account. These rights gave women a type of independence that fundamentally changed their lives—freedoms that are still not available to women in many countries in the world.
Divorce can be an empowered choice
Today, women no longer have to hide or sacrifice their career ambitions to the extent that the previous generations of women were pressured to. Women have more agency than ever before. More now than ever throughout history, women have the power to make choices in almost every area of their lives—from their bodies to their homes to their finances. When it comes to love, women are getting married and having children later in life. And they are finding themselves far more willing to walk out of an unsatisfactory relationship or marriage than the women of their parent’s generation. That walk may be lonely, but it is usually the best decision one can make—the decision to search for love in a healthier and more positive place.
The realization that you need a divorce can come as a rude awakening. The person you had once fallen in love with is now unlikeable, unreasonable, and unrecognizable. Seeing your partner in a new light, from a perspective that reveals parts of them you never knew existed, can feel like mourning the loss of someone you once knew.
Divorce is often said to show people’s true colors. The litigation process can cause emotions to run their course and bring out the worst in each party’s temperament. This can result in a lengthy experience that only prolongs the pain.
Divorce doesn’t have to be painful
Many married couples who choose to separate will find that family law mediation is far less expensive and painful than litigation. Facilitated by a neutral third party, a licensed mediation specialist works with both parties in the privacy of an office to settle on mutually agreed-upon terms. Divorce mediation can be a blessing in disguise, especially for those who are in a lower income bracket or have children. The needs and best interests of the children are put first, and terms are agreed upon without having to navigate the complexities of court dynamics.
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